Guest Post: Forget Your Ex-Husband in 5 Simple Steps

Okay, ladies…if you’ve been recently divorced and don’t go a day without hearing a song on the radio that reminds you of your ex, catch a whiff of the cologne he used to wear, or can’t get to sleep because the fear of his face haunting you in your worst nightmares has become too much to bear…then the title of this post may seem pretty laughable to you.  If you were married to someone, then it’s not like you can just magically forget about the guy (can we hurry up and patent a pill for such a thing already?!).  But the good news is that there are ways to assist the moving on process so that you aren’t so consumed with thoughts of the person who formerly claimed the title of your husband.  Check them out here:

#1:  Revamp your surroundings.  Most of us don’t have the luxury or financial backing to up and move to a tropical paradise in the middle of Fiji to recover post-divorce…and if you still reside in the house that used to be the love nest you shared with the ex-hubs, it makes it all the more difficult to forget his pathetic existence.  But one step in the right direction is getting all of his stuff gone.  Box up what he left behind and either ensure that he gets it…or if you’re feeling extra philanthropic, make a generous donation to Goodwill or to your local homeless shelter.  Also, no matter how stunning that bridal portrait above the mantle is of you, it will do nothing but remind you of a union that is no more.  Take it down along with anything else that reminds you of old, what’s-his-name.

#2:  Don’t be alone.  In the wake of a nasty split, the last thing you want to do is be alone with Sinead O’Connor on repeat, The Lifetime Movie Network, obscene amounts of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and your depressing thoughts.  Instead of wallowing in your sorrows and missing your ex-husband, spend your time with family and friends.  Doing things with people who bring you joy and uplift you will help you to feel better and get back to feeling like your old self again.

#3:  Get a new hobby.  Partaking in the same routines that you and your ex-husband used to will do nothing but taunt you and keep him at the forefront of your memory.  And what better time is there to get involved in new activities and better your life than after the termination of your marriage?  Join a gym, take up a painting class, start playing tennis—whatever it is that you will enjoy doing is sure to broaden your horizons, introduce you to new people, and focus your mind elsewhere!

#4:  Spoil your sweet self.  Going from being married to single status can be a pretty big change to say the least.  But don’t look at it as the end just because you don’t have a ring on your left hand anymore—look at it as a chance to focus on yourself now!  Hit up the spa, get a mani/pedi, try a new hair-do, and go on a shameless, guilt-free shopping spree to pick up some hot new items that will enhance your newly single status!  You’ll be feeling so great about you that you won’t be worrying about him.

#5:  Get wined and dined.  We’ve reached the biggie on this list:  go on dates, girlfriend!  Okay, right now the idea of a root canal every day for the next year might sound better than dating again.  But one of the best ways to heal an old wound is to cover it with a new Band Aid…and that doesn’t mean that you have to dive head-first into a full-fledged relationship right away; casually dating and getting back on the scene will just be fun and a much needed boost of confidence after it was ravaged in your divorce.  Putting your attention on a new man (or men) will help you move on from your ex; even if it doesn’t go anywhere, there’s nothing wrong with getting glammed up and enjoying a meal or two with some new gentlemen callers!

Author Bio.  Sabrina Jackson is a guest post author who enjoys helping women get through divorce.  In addition, Sabrina is also a contributor for Catholic Dating Sites where she offers tips for the best practices of dating on the internet.

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4 Comments

Filed under Divorce, Divorce Support, New relationship after divorce, positive thinking, Post Divorce, self-esteem

4 responses to “Guest Post: Forget Your Ex-Husband in 5 Simple Steps

  1. I intentionally layered memories by revisiting our favorite places with friends and even dates until the new memories helped to soften and replace the old.

  2. This is great advice for guys, too. I divorced last September and I’ve been looking for ways to avoid my own darkness, what with memories and missing her, and all that. I’ve been feeling guilty about trying to make myself feel good, but this article has validated my attempts. My brother just invited me to backpack through Iceland and I said ‘No’ at first, but I just changed my mind. I’ll spend some time with my dad this week, too. Maybe I’ll have a hurrah this weekend with some of my old buddies? Thinks are looking up already!

  3. Hi, after reading this remarkable post i am too happy to share my experience here
    with colleagues.

  4. Claire

    Running is good, eat less calorie, dance, buy more colorful shoes, pray.

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