Life after Divorce – What now?

Being on your own after living as part of a couple takes some getting used to, especially if the split is not of your choosing.  You may think that you have enough to cope with but soul-searching is an important step in helping you to move on. 

You need to examine your past relationship/s and think about what went wrong.  Be completely honest with yourself.   The breakdown of a relationship is rarely down to one person.  This exercise will probably be extremely uncomfortable but you need to know if there is anything you could have done differently so that you don’t make the same mistakes again.

Think about the following:

How often did you really sit down and talk about your feelings?

Can you name five things your ex is passionate about?

How often did you go out together on a ‘date’?

When did you last have fun with your partner? 

What is your idea of fun? 

Is it possible you stopped trying to look nice for your partner?

Were there things that changed when you had children?

What could you have done differently in your relationship?

What interests did you have in common?

Did you adapt your personality to suit your partner? (Not necessarily a good thing!)

Were you compatible in the first place?

What frustrated you most about your partner?

What do you think frustrated them most about you?

Do you have any new ideas about why your relationship broke down?

What would you do differently next time?

Now that you are on your own you have time to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life.  Firstly you need to make a life that you enjoy as a single person.  Until you like yourself you will not be happy.  You cannot rely on anyone else for your happiness. This is something you have to achieve for yourself.  So, decide how you would like your life to be and take steps to make it happen. You can do, be or have anything you want. 

 

 

Visit the New Horizons website to sign up for the Divorce Coaching monthly newsletter.

 

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Post Divorce

2 responses to “Life after Divorce – What now?

  1. angie

    This is so true! Its rare that only one person is a fault when a relationship goes wrong.

    Also, there is life after divorce – I’m very happily divorced.

    Angie

  2. Sherri

    Well, I can’t say that I am. I divorced my ex in haste and should have got a separation instead until we both cooled down. Now he seems to be moving on with his life, and I’m devastated. I was hurt during our marriage because he seemed to have this wall built up and some kind of dark cloud over his moods always.

    I JUST LEARNED that he has an alcohol problem that he’d kept hidden, so I’m in shock over that too! How could I not know. Because he was so withdrawn and didn’t act drunk.

    Anyhow, I’m not loving life at all and miss him. He was my best friend, and divorce is so final. Would have him back in a minute, but now he won’t have me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s