Finding your ‘Mojo’

Divorce can leave you struggling to find your mojo, your sense of worth, your confidence, your sex appeal.   You can be left thinking that things will never be the same, and you’re right, they won’t.  But, things can and will change and they can change for the better.  Sometimes it feels like you’re swimming through treacle and will never surface but you will.  It’s up to you whether you come up spluttering or shouting and punching the air.

If you’re feeling down start doing some conscious positive thinking exercises.  Don’t just dismiss it as ‘claptrap’ – give it a try, what have you got to lose? 

Here are my top 6 ideas for helping you to find your ‘mojo’:

  1. Catch yourself thinking sad or negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.  It doesn’t have to be huge things; simple things like looking forward to seeing a friend, an exercise class, or something planned for the weekend will bring you out of your negative thought pattern.
  2. Take up a new hobby or interest.  It doesn’t have to cost the earth.  Most local authorities run exercise classes and evening courses.  Why not learn a skill or a new discipline in exercise?  Alternatively you could join the WI (women only) or volunteer in your local community. 
  3. Learn to meditate.  It really does help to relax you and focus your mind on what is important.  Just 10 minutes a day can reduce your stress levels.  You don’t have to be religious to be spiritual. Meditation allows your subconscious to find solutions to your problems.
  4. Count your blessings.  Each day before you go to sleep say thank you for all the good things in your life, however small. Learn to appreciate simple things like a walk in the countryside, the love of a pet, the wonder of growing flowers and vegetables, a bird singing or a beautiful sunset.
  5. Learn to love yourself.   Appreciate your good qualities, believe it when people pay you compliments, relax and enjoy your own company, make the most of your life.
  6. Buy a self-help book and do the suggested exercises.  Really work through it, don’t just put it on the shelf and forget about it.  Alternatively read some inspirational books about people who have survived the challenges life has thrown at them.


Filed under positive thinking, Post Divorce, self-esteem

3 responses to “Finding your ‘Mojo’

  1. Thank you for that post. I have trouble feeling worthy in my post-divorce space here. I gave and gave to the marriage. I gave all I had, emotionally and financially. I gave like a typical woman does. And what I got back was being deeply wounded.

    In the post-divorce stage (and throughout the divorce) I have been very alone. I lost a lot of trust in my marriage experience. I feel that I “learned” in the marriage that I am not worthy. And it hasn’t been easy to undo that. Yet I was always a dynamic person, with lots of things I was passionate about. I definitely see that I lost some of that “mojo” as you call it. I call it “my glow.”

    I’m working through these feelings on my blog. I’d be so appreciative to hear from you.

    • Hi Chandi, It’s good to hear from you. I’ve read your blog and I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time. Please do try to resist the anger, the only person it is hurting is you and it won’t help you move on. It must be really tough having your ex on your doorstep but there is nothing you can do about it at the moment.

      You will recover your ‘glow’ in time. That dynamic, passionate person is still in there but she needs nuturing. Give yourself time to meditate and clear those negative thoughts as quickly as you can.

      If you can’t afford treatments such as massage could you and a friend buy a book and learn how to massage each other? Make time for yourself to do simple things like go for a walk or read a book.

      You will grieve for your marriage it is only to be expected but you will recover.

      Keep in touch – I wish you a speedy recovery.

  2. Hi,
    I have really been asking myself whether there are really any benefits associated with divorce. Is it not a vicious cycle of creating more and more problems? I thought about this and decided I will start a blog where people who are courageous enough will speak the deepest true feelings about the problems of divorce. Thats why I decided we talk in what I call “lets not divorce” blog, please lets share more, there are millions who are crying after divorce but is divorce really the answer? I dont think so, the blog is brand new and it’s only u and me who can speak nothing but the real truth. lets talk at
    Wish there will be a courageous person who will stand on the roof top and speak to the whole world and tell people to stop divorcing. Even God says I HATE DIVORCE, WHO ARE WE TO LIKE IT?

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