Guest Post: “Error number: your ex has moved on… 2 years wasted”

Sunday morning. I return to my car after taking a run on the mountain trails… and there’s a missed call on my phone from my ex-husband,  GWR, as he is now labeled on my Caller ID. STRANGE, haven’t heard from him since the divorce… both of us going our separate ways as one is fortunate enough to be able to do after a divorce when you don’t have any kids together.

Confused I return the call but get no answer. So I text: “You were trying to get a hold of me?”

As I plonk myself down in my bff’s kitchen, getting ready to help with the prep for our Sunday lunch, I get the following text reply from GWR:

“Was just missing you wildly. You were one of the best things that has ever happened to me and it *#%& out. I guess it’s post-drunken-blues talking here…”

And so I advised my ex-husband on investing in an iPhone app that warns you not to send sensitive text messages while under the influence of alcohol. It’s called TUI-itis (Texting Under the Influence), and it leads to great embarrassment to spice up the hang-over to follow.  Knowing what was to follow for GWR after his desperate texts to me over the weekend (yes, there was more than one), I felt obliged to send him an e-mail the next day.

“Good morning, Sounds like there was some wild partying going on for you over the weekend…?  I hope you had fun at least?

Oh deary me, this “missing” that you are feeling… it set me athinking… I’m busy reading Ecclesiastes at the moment, especially chapters 2 and 3 (Yes, I am still a “heathen”, but do still find that specific library of books as a source of inspiration). And yes, according to chapter 3; there’s a time and a season for everything… and sometimes it just passes.

And yet, I meet too many ‘adults’ (those who should know better IMHO) who desperately hold on to the past. And like that dog in Proverbs (26:11) they return to their own vomit, time-and-again. They waste their years and allow their hearts to be dragged through the mud over-and-over. By yearning for an illusion of the past, they find themselves getting entangled in the same unhappiness as they did in the past.

No GWR, you can do better. We’re both still young and have many adventures that lie ahead for us. And we’re both too SMART and WISE to repeat our mistakes. It might sound like one of those demotivational posters, but I recently realized that I am certainly ready to go out and make NEW MISTAKES in my future. To learn from the past and to move on. You ever see that movie “Ground Hog Day?” Do yourself the favour of renting that one.

[Terribly sorry, I’m sounding awfully preachy. But you know I have this tendency… ]

I have this quote copied down in one of my notebooks, Paulo Coelho: “It’s always necessary to know when a stage of one’s life has ended. If you stubbornly cling to it after the need has passed, you lose the joy and meaning of the rest. And you risk being shaken to your senses by God.”

Bio:  Today’s guest post is from Liz Lobster, who describes herself as an Über-Bookworm, Writer, Clown, Philosopher, Realist, Idealist, Cynic, and PANK (Professional Auntie with No Kids). She’s recently divorced and about to turn 29.

You can follow her Blog “tata20s, saying farewell to my twenties

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1 Comment

Filed under Divorce, Divorce Support, positive thinking, Post Divorce, self-esteem

One response to “Guest Post: “Error number: your ex has moved on… 2 years wasted”

  1. Pingback: Featured on: “Life after divorce: New horizons” « tata20s

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