Guest Post: 5 Things to let go of to be Happy after Divorce

No one gets married with the thought that one day that marriage will end unhappily ever after in divorce.  So when divorce strikes you, there’s no secret that it brings with it more sadness than you’ve ever felt before in your life—and even after the papers are signed, you still may feel as though you’re never going to be able to get back to your old self again.  It takes time to heal, but today is the day that you let go of your unhappiness and embrace a bright new future.  Here’s what to leave behind in order to do so:

#1:  Let go of the blame.  In an attempt to deal with your divorce, it’s easy to blame to yourself, your ex-spouse or anyone/anything else you think contributed to the final chapter of your union as husband and wife.  But in order to regain your strength, pick up the pieces and move on, you’ve got to stop pointing that finger.  No matter what caused the end of your marriage, stop blaming and start taking responsibility for your own life.  That’s the only thing that you have control over so all you can do is try to improve upon yourself so that you don’t make the same mistakes again.

#2:  Let go of the past.  Of course, this is a difficult step when your past looks so much better than what lies ahead in an undetermined future.  But wallowing in old history and sitting around crying over your wedding album is a waste of time that could be better spent actually enjoying your life.  So instead of living in a world that no longer exists and looking at your future with fear, look at it as an opportunity to make your life better than it has ever been before.  Not knowing what comes next can be thrilling—that’s what makes life an adventure!  Never take the moments you have RIGHT NOW for granted.

#3:  Let go of your excuses.  If you are doing nothing but lying around in bed all day depressed and using your divorce as an excuse for a lackluster job performance, dwindling relationships with friends and family, or why you no longer participate in activities/hobbies that once brought you joy, then it’s time to pull yourself together.  Of course it’s tough and you’re allowed some time to mourn the loss of the relationship, but you can’t let it determine your life or keep you from your path to happiness.  Stop making excuses and start living again!

#4:  Let go of your resistance to change.  When going through a divorce, your whole life is bound to change…and this change can be downright frightening.  But rather than allowing your fear (which is just an illusion created by no other but yourself) to hamper you from being happy, why not just accept the changes in your world (because you really have no other option)?  Change can be good thing—it means you are growing; go along with the flow and let it turn you into a more emotionally evolved person.

#5:  Let go of complaining.  If you walk around with a frown on your face and all you can do is complain about your divorce, you won’t open yourself up to finding happiness once more—no one is going to want to be around that.  Get rid of the negative attitude and replace it with one of a positive nature and you’ll be amazed at all the positivity you attract.  Before you know it, you’ll have fewer and fewer complaints about your divorce because you are feeling genuinely happy again.

Sabrina Jackson is a guest post author who enjoys helping newly divorced singles.  In addition, Sabrina also contributes her work to senior dating sites where she offers advice to online seniors about how to date safely on the internet.



Filed under Divorce, Divorce Support, positive thinking, Post Divorce, self-esteem

5 responses to “Guest Post: 5 Things to let go of to be Happy after Divorce

  1. Great tips. I know for me it took time to address each of those. I found that in the meantime, I did best with distractions in the form of social time and activities. It helped to pull me out of my mental funk and remind me why I wanted to heal.

  2. Very good tips. It’s easy to make the mistake of thinking that we have had such a rough experience that we deserve the rights to complain, blame, make excuses, hold on to the past and refuse to change. In reality, when we do those things we’re only hurting ourselves more on the long run…

  3. movingon

    Many emotions come with a divorce. I made a promise to myself,not to be sad,because there is no gain in being sad!

  4. So true – a great attitude to have

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