Guest Post: 5 Important Reminders after Divorce

A divorce is never an easy thing. Your marriage was supposed to last forever, but it did not. Your mate was supposed to love you and stay with you, but they did not. It is heartbreaking and devastating and demoralizing.

There are many common traps people fall into after divorce. They think they will never be loved or love anyone else ever again. They think their life is over. They think they are ugly or unlovable. They think that there is something wrong with them that can never be resolved. All these thoughts are not healthy. Not only do they offer nothing to build you up, but the repetitive and degrading nature tears you down further and further until you feel like dirt.

Do not let yourself get to this point. There are five things you need to remind yourself of every time negative thoughts enter your mind.

  1. You are worth loving – You are. You are a unique individual that gives something special to the world. There is no one in the world like you and there never was and there never will be. You are special. And you are worth loving.
  2.  You are loved – Someone out there loves you. Your friends, your family, your children, your dog, heck, even your secret admirer. You are not alone. There are people out there willing to help, if only you will allow them in. Do not push others away during this difficult time. Allow yourself to be loved.
  3.  You may not be perfect, but you can be better – I am not saying you did nothing wrong in your marriage. I am not saying it was or was not your fault. Just remember, you can always change. No matter what you think is wrong with you; you can get help and become better. Do not think there is no hope for you.
  4. This is not the end –Your life is not over. You have things to live for. Things beyond your marriage. Just because you are no longer married does not mean you no longer have a life to live. No matter what age you are, you still have something to give to the world. Do not waste your talents and abilities feeling sorry for yourself. This is not the end, it is just another place to start.
  5. You will find love again –Whether you think so or not at this point, you will find love again. It may not be the love of another life partner, but it will be love. You will love your job, love to travel, love your pets or kids. Or, maybe, with an open mind and a healed heart, you may indeed find a new mate. The right mate. The one that will stay forever. And that is worth hoping for.

Right now, you hurt. You have reason to. But understand that the hurt will not last forever. It is cliché, but time does heal all wounds. Do not let self-pity ruin any more of your life. Take the reins and live. Divorce is not the end of the world, no matter what it feels like right now.

Author  Byline:   Monta, the mother of three children, serves as an Expert Advisor on multiple household help issues to many Organizations and groups, and is a mentor for other “Mom-preneurs” seeking guidance.  She is a regular contributor of “find nannies”.  You can get in touch with her at montafleming6Atgmail dotcom.


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Filed under Divorce, Divorce Support, positive thinking, Post Divorce, self-esteem

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