Guest Post: Ways to find your confidence again after a divorce

Your divorce is not only the end of one chapter of your life, but also the beginning of another. As you close the door on your marriage, you may be experiencing feelings of rejection from your ex or worrying about how you’re going to move forward on your own. Take the time to find your confidence again. That attractive, confident, funny and lighthearted person is still there. You might just have to make a few changes to regain that side of yourself.

Reach out to friends

Although you’ll probably want some time to yourself after your divorce, be sure to reach out to your friends during this time. Surround yourself with people you enjoy and, if you need or want to, some new friends as well. Ask your existing friends to make introductions start an activity, like going to a yoga class or attending a class at a community center, to meet new people. Have a few close friends you can talk with about your difficulties after a divorce, but try to keep things positive with most of your friends. Above all, you want to feel like you have a normal life again.

Re-evaluate your look

You may have paid less attention to your appearance while you were married, especially in the midst of a divorce. Now is the time to be real about what you look like and make any changes you feel you need. Maybe your wardrobe hasn’t been updated in a few years; if so, some new clothes can make you look and feel great. A little nip and tuck can help you regain your confidence as well. Consider a non-invasive facelift to help you feel more like yourself. No matter the changes you make, focus on highlighting who you are, not changing and trying to be someone else.

List the positives

Sometimes getting your confidence back is as simple as remembering what you like about yourself. After hearing exaggerations of your negative characteristics from your ex, it can be hard to remember you’re a wonderful person. Take the time to make a list of what you enjoy about yourself. If you want, you can even ask friends what they would add to the list. Reminding yourself about your good qualities on a regular basis can help boost your self-esteem during a difficult time.

Start dating again

Dating isn’t something to jump into right away, but often going on a few dates can help you regain your confidence. You’ll get to meet some interesting people, get out your jitters and maybe even find someone you really connect with, even if you don’t feel ready for a relationship just yet. Dating is also a great way to get out and enjoy the attractions your city has to offer.

Regaining your confidence after going through a divorce isn’t something that happens immediately for everyone, but focusing your attention in some key areas can help speed up the process. The most important thing to remember is that you aren’t defined by your divorce. You’re a unique, interesting person with friends, hobbies, passions and a life of your own.

Author Bio: Felicia Baratz is a freelance writer and graphic designer living in Indianapolis, IN. As a contributor to, she touches on green innovations and practices like green moving and transportation.



Filed under Confidence after Divorce, Divorce, Divorce Support, Post Divorce

2 responses to “Guest Post: Ways to find your confidence again after a divorce

  1. Pingback: Guest Post: 5 Questions to Ask Before Dating After Divorce | Life after Divorce: New Horizons

  2. Bobbi

    All that you say makes complete sense. But what happens when you feel like you just want to do nothing. Eat rubbish food and watch rubbish telly. I have many friends and hobbies. But I want to withdraw for now. When does one know if it Is it dangerous to this.

    Many Thanks

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